While wooing a Gikuyu girl traditionally, there are a couple of things and items that are involved before the new-found lovers can be allowed to proceed to the next stage of formalizing their relationship.
According to Gikuyu Centre of Cultural Studies (GCCS), each of these items has a symbolical significance and making a slight mistake on how you handle them can as well mean the end of the road for the two two of you.
Now let's focus on the three steps involved in wooing a Gikuyu damsel and how each of the aforementioned items comes in and their respective symbolical importance.
1. 'Ucuru'
According to GCCS, when a young man approaches a Gikuyu girl for the first time with a motive to initiate a love relationship with her and gets a hint that there is a possibility of success, he will ask her whether she makes a good porridge and if he can visit her home to sample it.
"She can tell him that her porridge is not for the likes of him. He will understand that he has reached the end of that road and either abandons the project or keep trying," GCCS notes.
But if the girl says, "You are quite welcome to come and sample some, it is the best porridge in the village". He can then reply, "I will definitely come" and then they will cross their index fingers in goodbye," adds GCCS.
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2. 'Gikwa'
When the young man sets out to go to the girl's homestead for the porridge sampling exercise mostly accompanied by his three agemates, he will carry with him among other things a yam. Traditionally, yams were attended by men while in the farm.
"The symbolic significance of the yam which is a creeper, and its supporting tree, the 'Mūkūngūgū' tree is love. They intertwine until in maturity and it is impossible to separate the two," GCCS states.
The reason why the young man is required to carry a yam during his first visit to the girl's home is to show that he has become of age and can tend to the yam plants on the farm and thus his family.
3. 'Nduma'
On arrival at the girl's home, the young man and his entourage will be served with among other things porridge and arrowroots.
'Nduma', GCCS notes, were exclusively attended by women. So, by the girl serving her suitor and his entourage with 'nduma' is to show them that she is a good nduma farmer and is no longer a young girl.
However, the suitor and his colleagues are not expected to eat the 'Nduma' during the maiden visit as GCCS explains.
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"After the father comes home in the evening and hears that the ndūma was not eaten, he nods and says, 'yes, these are serious people. Roast for me the yam," the cultural center indicates.
By the girl's father asking for the yam, it means he shows he has no problem with the process so far. If there was no yam then, he will then say, those were just people passing by.
Nowadays they meet in the bar with the lady probably drunk like skunk, head to the young man's house, the man is offered the honeypot the same day before giving the lady some fare early the following morning to get 'the hell out of my presence'.